Oh What A Beautiful Morning...

Oh What A Beautiful Day!

I had a lovely locomotive journey today.

As I moved to board said locomotive I noticed that all signs indicated that all its seats were occupied. There were no actual signs with neon lights, but the mere fact that several people were standing in the aisles, was enough sign for me.

Unaccustomed as I am to standing for an entire train journey I took no heed of these signs and looked for a seat. The signs were lying - there were in fact unoccupied seats.

However they appeared to be unoccupied for a reason, for you see the seats flanked a rather large man adorning leather pants and jacket and a rather tall and spiky mow hawk (a derivative I believe of the hairstyle made popular by the Mohican's, the last of which was Daniel Day-Lewis).

Unperturbed by such a brute I gracefully strode towards him and took the seat on his left away from his left buttocks. He made no retort and I quickly removed my book from my bag.

The book in question was the main reason for the insertion of 'lovely' in the second line of this here document I currently transcribe.

It was entitled "Smithereens" and it is said by some that it was written by Shaun Micallef - star of the delightful Micallef Pogram and other such delights. These people are correct.

It was whilst reading the chapter "Seized by the muse" that the first bursts of laughter surfaced. After this there was no stopping it and like a bad case of diarrhea it continued to flow from me.

All journey I laughed and guffawed whilst reading said book, much to the amusement of my fellow passengers (although I am unsure if my large leather clad companion was similarly amused).

I exited the locomotive with a pleased grin on my face and preceded to walk up the ramp to exit the station - only to have it taken away - the grin, not the ramp. As some may know I am quite proud of my speed in walking, and some uncouth man had taken it upon himself to take advantage of my blissful state and o'took me! How dare he.

For some few steps I was dazed - unaware of how this had occurred and in this time his lead had grown considerably. Hardened by the cold morning air I took upon myself to walk like I had never walked before (while actually quite similar to how I have always walked but a little bit faster) and catch this man.

After a long struggle I eventually found myself on his heels and allowed myself a knowing smile. His path altered from mine and I continued at a now more comfortable pace along mine.

For the last stretch of my journey I began to compose this story in my mind and as soon as I found my way to my desk I put flesh to plastic to capture this tale.

And here it is now before me and you. If it is not before you but someone is reading it aloud to you at some ritzy dinner party by the sea then I apologise for my inaccuracy.

Alas that is the end of my tale, I hope it has been as memorable a journey for you as it was for me.

Fair well.